I sing French in a TX accent

I listen to a CD in my car...almost daily...I don't understand the words but I sing my southeast TX version of a beautiful French lyric. I know I am probably saying something very seedy and totally inappropriate in my version because I am not pronouncing it right...but I don't care! My prayer is that there are no french speaking friends within ear shot! I listen and try to sing because it takes me away...away from the noise of the road and frustration of the traffic...it takes me deep within my dreams carried by my fantasies of France and Italy and all the beauties Europe has to offer. I'm sure some of my fantasies include a handsome, strong Italian man singing back to me...no doubt induced by my overabundance of watching musicals when I was young!

I like things that reach into my soul and transport it unto another time and place. I don't want people to talk to me while I'm at a movie or the theater and secretly living in this pretend world...it's irritating because it brings me back to reality...my reality! I am such a hopeless romantic...not only about the opposite sex but about life in general. I search for the beauty in a situation and believe fully in that picture.  It's not that my reality is bad by any means...it's just so much prettier through rose colored glasses.

What happens to a hopeless romantic when they start to loss hope...the worst thing!...they become a realist! haha! Seriously...I understand we have to be "real" about somethings but with the world we live in today it's pretty depressing to become a realist. I like to think my little version of being a spiritual person means that you believe in a higher power and therefore you no longer need to be a "realist" but you can be an optimist...or...the way I like to see it...a romantic!

I think it's so romantic the way God made the earth and all the beauties within for me! He even turned water into wine for me...one of my personal favorites! ;) I think it's romantic that there is even a language that sounds like French and Italian sound! The birds and the trees and the melodies! He is such a hopeless romantic for me! That's why I believe in the romance of this world...in the hope of it all.

somethings bubbling

This June I started a new journey, an adventure for sure! As I stepped out unto a new footing I promised myself one thing, that I would give in COMPLETELY to the process!  It has been many things and I have navigated strange and brute emotions. I have become in every way the person I never wanted to be - jaded, harsh, selfish, grumpy, hopeless and entitled. I still don't fully understand why I needed to become this person or all the lessons it is meant to teach me. One thing I know for sure is that it woke me up. It made me take a good hard look in the mirror and make a decision.

Do I want to be this person because of the things I have been through or do I want to rise above it all and become more. More full of grace and love. More selfless and hopeful. More unassuming and delighted. More of the things I see in others that take my breath away. More of who God desires me to be...less tarnished and more purified.

As I sit here, in my office in the sky, I know for sure that God already sees me like this. I'm already forgiven and purified and in the process of continually being forgiven and purified. The past is over - it's now up to me what I do with my present. With God's grace all of his dreams for me - things I had given up hope on - will come true. Not because I have a clear vision of what that statement means or because I am entitled to have them but because God is a good father and he loves his daughter.

I'm still on the journey...in the process, desperately seeking the adventures I was made for. I'm taking new steps everyday - new steps on my path - new steps in my life and it is so exciting and I am getting ready for something big! I am truly blessed!!!